NBA Jam: 2009

I have so much fun coming up with these things, especially after someone asked me this on Yahoo! Answers last year, that I decided I'd do it again.  I think there's a newer NBA Jam out somewhere that's 3-on-3 play, like NBA Street, but I'm going to go back to the old school 2-on-2 Super NES NBA Jam and Midway equivalent of NBA Hangtime (which later turned into Showtime for PS).  So 2-on-2 pairings it is, and here we go with the teams!  

Atlanta Hawks:

Joe Johnson and Josh Smith

Where one has been lacking, the other has been there.  Really, both players are playing exceptional, Joe Johnson is a solid ball handler and shooter while Josh Smith is just freakishly athletic.  I could imagine a Josh Smith crash board outlet (or swat) to Johnson racing up the court chucking up a three that looks way off only for everyone to realize that it's really a lob for an alley-oop from a trailing Josh Smith who just took off from the free throw line.

Boston Celtics:

Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett

While I would love to put either Ray Allen or Rajon Rondo in here, I can't, because Pierce and Garnett are the cornerstones of the franchise.  Pierce is the game closer on the offensive end and Garnett is the defensive anchor.

Charlotte Bobcats:

Gerald Wallace and Emeka Okafor

While Raja Bell and Boris Diaw have certainly been adding a lot to the team, these are the two players I think of first when I think Bobcats.  Of course, there's Raymond Felton and Adam Morrison, but we're not going to include them, becuase honestly, they're not that good.  Fortunately for Wallace, you can't really get hurt in Jam, so he's in there.  While both guys are more defensive-minded, they're solid.  Double-alley-oop!

Chicago Bulls:

Derrick Rose and Luol Deng

The two more solid players on the roster, and by more, I mean only.  Gordon's been doing well, but he's an obvious ill-fit with the team.  Then again, I've never been too sure with the Bulls.  I want to see fire coming out of Rose's feet if this game ever gets made.

Cleveland Cavaliers:

LeBron James and Mo Williams

When I thought of this last year, I had trouble thinking of who to pair with LBJ, this year, there is no question.  Mo Williams has definitely been an answer to the lack of talent around LeBron.  My call on how you would play this, drive with LeBron, dish out to Mo Williams sitting at the arc then toss up for an alley-oop to LeBron.

Dallas Mavericks

Jason Kidd and Dirk Nowitzki

Yes, I know, I know, what about Jason Terry and Josh Howard?  The prospect of being able to watch Kidd dunk and Nowitzki do an isolation dribble is too much for me to not include them though.  You know they'd do it in a game like this.

Denver Nuggets

Chauncey Billups and Carmelo Anthony

I'd love to put Nene in there just so I can here the commentator say "Brazilian Hammer" for some reason or another, but undisputedly Billups and Anthony are the best players on the team.  Which reminds me, color commentary definitely makes the game, they better get someone good.  No offense to Kenny Smith, but I like Steve Kerr's color commentary from NBA Live much more than Kenny Smith's (NBA 2k8) recycled Bill Walton (NBA 2k5) one-liners.

Detroit Pistons

Rasheed Wallace and Richard Hamilton

I had a really hard time with this, it's not that I intentionally wanted to leave off Tayshaun Prince and Allen Iverson, it's just that, Sheed and Rip scream Pistons at me much more.  Really, they do, Rodney Stuckey was considered as well.  Though you couldn't go wrong with a pairing of Walter Hermann and Kwame Brown, could you?

Golden State Warriors

Monta Ellis and Andris Biedrins

While this would be a game in which it is justifiable for Stephen Jackson to pull up at 29 feet with 20 seconds left in the shot clock for a three, because if you time it right, he'll make 75% of them, I think the face of the Warriors would ultimately be Ellis and Biedrins.  I wonder how many times you can make them clutch in the air, 2? 3? 4?  

Houston Rockets

Tracy McGrady and Yao Ming

I was tempted to put in Ron Artest, just because it's Ron Artest.  However, the team still belongs to Yao, and honestly, all injuries aside, T-Mac is actually pretty good.  Perhaps if they incorporate free throws we'd have to include Chuck Hayes.

Indiana Pacers

TJ Ford and Danny Granger

The younger Michael Dunleavy hasn't really impressed me, though I suppose to spite Warriors fans you could do a Troy Murphy/Mike Dunleavy pairing.  Granger has been lighting it up, and TJ Ford was lighting it up, until he got hurt again, but again, this is NBA Jam, every player is invincible, even when elbows are thrown.  

Los Angeles Clippers

Baron Davis and Zach Randolph

While I would love to see Marcus Camby swat anything and everything that comes within 3 feet of the basket, Davis and Randolph have been the two more solid contributors on the Clippers.  Besides, I couldn't pass up an opportunity to do this myself.  Though, given the current Clippers rosters, what with the injury bug and all, it'd probably be something like an Al Thornton/Eric Gordon pairing, though they might get desperate enough to do Fred Jones and Paul Davis.

Los Angeles Lakers

Kobe Bryant and Pau Gasol

Lamar Odom and Andrew Bynum also get a shout-out, but Kobe and Pau are the centerpieces of this franchise.  Besides, who doesn't want to see a shaggy Spaniard throw down a 1080 dunk after getting 12 feet in the air?  Ah... good ol' NBA Hangtime.

Memphis Grizzlies

OJ Mayo and Rudy Gay

One shaggy haired Spaniard is enough.  Sorry Marc.  Unless you think Darko fits better in here some how, this one is pretty straight forward.  

Miami Heat

Dwayne Wade and Shawn Marion

This was supposed to be Pat Riley's Jordan/Pippen pairing.  Well, I guess you could make it still happen in a video game.  Honestly, it's hard to pick anyone else on the Heat... Especially since Zo retired.  It was a tossup otherwise between Michael Beasley and Udonis Haslem.

Milwaukee Bucks

Michael Redd and Richard Jefferson

Sure Andrew Bogut is a pretty big part of the team, but Jefferson was supposed to be the difference maker.  Besides, you can't really leave out anybody whose game has been likened to Vince Carter's.  Though Joe Alexander and Luc Mbah-a-Moute would be fun, just to hear the commentator try to say "Mbah-a-Moute".

Minnesota Timberwolves

Randy Foye and Al Jefferson

Jefferson is a stud, Randy Foye, looking less like a bust and more like a serviceable pick, certainly better than Mike Miller's been doing.  Of course, the 6-7 power-forward tandem of Ryan Gomes and Craig Smith might be pretty interesting too...  Kevin Love would be an interesting person on there as well, then again, some people might just want to see Brian Cardinal on there for kicks.

New Jersey Nets

Devin Harris and Vince Carter

As much as I would like to see the prospect of another big Chinese guy doing reverse-360 dunks during an in game situation, you can't really leave off Harris and Vinsanity.  Maybe they'll make special dunks just for Vinsanity.  Everyone jumps over everyone else in the original game already, so they'd have to come up with something new.  Secret slam dunk codes for Vinsanity!

New Orleans Hornets

Chris Paul and David West

Though having the prospect of seeing Peja dunk on like Yao would be pretty entertaining.  David West I think is probably the second most productive player on the Hornets.  I wonder if they can do like a "Matrix mode" where everything slows down to bullet time with Chris Paul.  Dude, super moves for each character would be awesome.

New York Knicks

Nate Robinson and Wilson Chandler

I was about to incorporate Al Harrington or David Lee or Chris Duhon somehow, but somehow, the Knicks just scream Nate Robinson and Wilson Chandler to me.  Besides, who wouldn't want to play as a high flying, former 5-9 Slam Dunk champion?  Who wouldn't want to play with a 5-9 guy and block the tallest NBA player all day?

Oklahoma City Thunder

Kevin Durant and Jeff Green

They need less ugly jerseys, they really do.  Aside from that, Green and Durant definitely look like the real deal.  They'll probably shoot a lot better from 3 pt range in the game too, well, depending who's playing with them.

Orlando Magic

Rashard Lewis and Dwight Howard

If you could map a putback slam somehow into the controls, this team would be unstoppable.  That being said, maybe they should do alternate uniforms.  You could play as Dwight Howard in a Superman costume, and Rashard Lewis could be... Green Latern.

Philadelphia 76ers

Andre Miller and Andre Iguodala

I don't know that I'm convicned Brand really fits as a Sixer, so I'm gonna stick with Miller and Iggy.  I know, that shouldn't matter, but still, this works.  I wonder if this is a legal inbounds play...

Phoenix Suns

Steve Nash and Amar'e Stoudemire

Still getting used to typing that apostrophe...  Anyways, with the way the Suns are going, the team might be better represented by Jason Richardson and Shaquille O'Neal, still, a call back to the good ol' 7SoL days.  Maybe they'll have a function where Nash passes it with his head, it'd be like a long rebound, so he'd both a rebound and an assist.

Portland Trailblazers

Brandon Roy and LaMarcus Aldridge

No question about this one, these two are the revival of Portland basketball.  Roy is the real deal, and Aldridge has developed quite nicely as well (though we'd like him to rebound more).  Heck, you can chuck 30 footers with Roy all day in this game and he'll make them, you don't even have to wait for the buzzer.

Sacramento Kings

Kevin Martin and John Salmons

I really don't know who other than Kevin Martin I should put on, I know Brad Miller and John Salmons aren't really in the Kings' future, but I can't really bring myself to put Beno Udrih, Fracisco Garcia, or Mikki Moore in.  Really, I can't.

San Antonio Spurs

Tony Parker and Tim Duncan

As boring as Tim Duncan is to watch, there's no excuse that can be made for him to not be in this video game.  We get to play TD the way sometimes we want him to play.  Though, if they don't make like a facial expression script, we could have the joy of watching the same ol' Tim Duncan face even after he pulls one of those Midway signature somersault slams.

Toronto Raptors

Jose Calderon and Chris Bosh

I wanna say something about YouTube but I'm at a loss... 

Utah Jazz

Deron Williams and Carlos Boozer

Only until Boozer leaves, but even then, the centerpiece is Williams.  As you can tell, I'm running out of things to say.

Washington Wizards

Caron Butler and Antawn Jamison

Maybe we can get a clip of DeShawn Stevenson yelling "DAGGER!" everytime they make a shot.